Operation: Youkai Mountain
by A Successful Businessman
Summary: Who would do something so dastardly as to invade Youkai Mountain? ...No, not an outsider. As night falls upon the mountain, a small group of uninvited 'guests' charge forward under the veil of shadow to enact a plan, one that, if successful, would change Gensokyo forever, and reform the rocky balance of power in Gensokyo. One Shot. Good amounts of danmaku fighting . Good times?


**_Thmp. Thmp. Thmp._**

Youkai Mountain and the night is still young. The night turns to a near silence, save for one figure, dashing through the woods.

**_Thmp. Thmp. Thmp. Thmp._**

The figure, masked by high speed and shadows, holds a very large sword, which she uses to cut through foliage blocking her way with ease.

**_Thmp. Thmp. Thmp. Thmp. Thmp._**

She jumps off one tree to the side, and starts running through the river, jumping off the cliff where the river became a waterfall. She lands in a clearing in front of the waterfall, the water all heading to pools in the underground, and stares straight ahead. She sticks her sword into the ground, ears listening intently. The pale moonlight reflects off the waterfall, illuminating this figure's features. Her hair is short and white, her shirt is long and white, and her skirt is long and back. She wears a Tokin, as with all of the tengu, right between her fluffy ears, perched upward, twitching at any sound.

"Come out now!" Momiji shouts aloud, "I saw you before you hid yourselves; I know you're still here!" Before coming here, Momiji had seen a couple of figures walking towards Youkai Mountian, before they all disappeared. Their intents were obvious to her, to infiltrate Youkai Mountian, but for what reason was unknown. At the speed they were traveling at before disappearing, they should be placed right in front of her. Momiji's nose confirms this, but is unable to get a precise location.

Completely hidden by some power, one figure tries to pass her at high speeds. She made sure to be completely silent, but dashing out of trees always shows the trees and leaves giving way to an object. And in front of Momiji Inubashiri, the white wolf youkai who can see great distances, this is a mistake even the best would make.

Momiji pulls out her sword from the ground and slashes at the intruder, who struggles to block with what looks like a light katana. She's surprised to note that even after the attack, the intruder remains silent, but for a split second she can seen at the point of impact, however; only at the point of impact. So, because if she stopped attacking the figure would just run back into the woods, untraceable due to being hidden; Momiji presses the offensive, slashing rapidly at the figure who is struggling to block her, her katana appearing to crack.

A second figure dashes through the tree to aid her companion, but instead of charging straight forward, she changes directions rapidly after she had cleared the brush. However, Momiji is quite the long-lived youkai, and a hidden master of Dai shogi, she knows what she's doing. She takes her shield off her back with her left hand, and slams it at her second assailant, who blocks the shield bash, sliding back in the dirt.

There's a reason Momiji always plans to intercept people at the waterfall. They have obviously heard of her great sight, her sharp ears, and a few have even heard of her great sense of smell, so they prepare accordingly, by hiding themselves in some sort of cloak. However, while they can hide themselves, they cannot hide their footsteps. The water flowing underneath this land keeps it moist, and the feet of those standing on it would sink into the earth, allowing Momiji to attack with certainty. And, if they wanted to fly up and use danmaku, they would be given away, and Momiji's job would be complete either way.

It is best not to underestimate one such as Momiji, who has developed her power to the point where some claim she can even see the near future, can block every attack before you even conceive it. Now, Momiji is no seer, she just has honed her senses to the point where she can read movements from the smallest details, such as foot position. That is all.

The two attackers quickly backed away, unable to push back the ferocious wolf with the mind of a master. They do not try to retreat, and continue to fight, but several more wolf tengu are heard running down the mountain.

**_Thud._**

As Momiji raises her long sword above her head she falls to the ground, a third figure having delivered a swift chop to the back of her neck. For no matter how much foresight she has, Momiji lacks eyes in the back of her head.

The two other infiltrators nod to her, before jumping up to climb Youkai Mountain, hopping up the waterfall, several more infiltrators following, all dead silent and hidden from view. The third figure sports a wide smile, standing above Momiji, and takes the sword from her hand, holding it up. The floating sword soon joins the figure in her veil, disappearing as she jumps to follow her companions.

The wolf tengu reinforcements saw near nothing of this, passing the infiltrators as they climb the mountain, sniffing around their unconscious captain to pick up a scent, or see those that did it. Not even Random Tengu Girl, the sniper who was infamous for always having everyone in her sights. Unfortunately, there is one weakness to fighting in front of the waterfall, Momiji noted it several times over, the water would wash away any scent as someone climbed the mountain.

* * *

**_Further up the mountain, one of the resident goddesses walks through the night._**

"Auuu..." I whine as I walk back to my shrine. The mountain 'alarm' that Kanako had the kappa build was working wonderfully, scaring away the frogs from the lake as they were just starting to sing. "Kero Kero Kero..." Singing to myself, I put both hands behind my head, and look up at the night sky as I walk. It's these kinds of nights that always calm me the most. The kind when the night is alive, and all the creatures not normally seen start to get loud. When was the last time I went to party with the tengu, I don't even know, I always try to get Sanae to come with me, but she never drinks, and if I go with Kanako all the tengu do is revere us instead of partying. But at times like this, it seems like no one cares who you are. This is why I love nights like this. Even gods get people attacking them.

"You must have come a long way to see me, seeing as you have alerted the entire mountain to your presence." I call out, and two figures, invisible to the eye, walk out of the woods, one in front of me and one behind me, as two more sit in a tree. Even if they're invisible, scanning the earth would prove to be enough for these two, and reading the wind would work if they decide to take flight. The one in front of me sighs.

"This 'invisibility' thing isn't exactly working out as well as expected." She says. A slightly more masculine voice calls out from behind me,

"It worked well enough to fool the tengu. As for you Miss Moriya, you'll be coming with us." I chuckle, and with a childish voice I ask,

"And if I say no?" I smile, and I can just feel the person opposite me smiling as well.

"Then it makes my job much more fun." She says, with a voice just as childish.

"I see you came ready for a fight." I quickly draw some metal rings from under my sleeves.

"But did you?" The one from behind me asks as she charges, but I quickly duck down, my palms pressed against the earth, and a wall of stone cuts her off as I throw a handful of metal rings at the other one. She slashes at them with a large sword that causes her invisibility to flicker for a moment. _Wait a minute, isn't that the wolf's swor-_

**_Crack!_**

The rock wall behind me falls over, the second figure knocks it over through blunt force as the first figure gets pushed back by several rings. She runs up to me and starts attacking me with a flurry of punches and kicks. I block several punches, and the first figure charges at me, sword most likely drawn. I take an iron ring, and let the second figure punch right through it. Quickly, I pull her along with the ring and throw her at the first figure, causing them both to flicker for a moment, and knocking them into a tree.

They moan, but get up quickly, and charge at me as a spike of earth erupts from the ground, skewering the tree. As they charge at me, I pull out a spell card.

**_"Native God~Long-Arm and Long-Leg"_**

A close pack ring of danmaku erupts from me, flying out slowly in all directions. Several danmaku blasts fly out, in such rapid succession that they nearly form a laser, and fly out at the sides of the two figures. Seeing the ring of danmaku, they start to backpedal.

"Back up, back up, we need to get them to spread out to dodge them!" The two dash back, but they flicker as the danmaku 'laser' grazes the back of their clothes.

"Get closer, get closer!" The two get right up to the ring of danmaku, it showing no signs of breaking apart, before slowly backing away into the 'laser' again.

"Gah, it's so cramped!" The two struggle to fit into the gap made to constrain one opponent, and pass through the ring just as the 'laser' is right at their back. They continue to do this several more times before the card time-outs and charge at me. The first swings her sword, aiming to strike at the head, while the second kicks like a scythe at my side. I quickly duck down, the sword whooshing over my hat, and grab the leg which is now at level with my head.

I throw the second figure backwards as I hop up forwards, ramming into the first's gut with my head, knocking her into the air. I quickly throw many iron rings at her before diving down underground.

The first has her arms held straight outwards at her side and her legs bound together by rings in mid air, which shock her with bright yellow lightning, flickering between visible and invisible with the shocks. The second is knocked into a tree as I jump out of the ground directly under her, knocking her into the air. I brush the dust off my knee-highs and sleeves as the figure falls onto the ground, bounces, and then struggles to get up.

"Just give up already." I say, pushing my foot down onto the second fighter, the first breaking free from her iron bonds. She falls to the ground, but she smiles. I can't even see her, but I can feel her smile. _She's exhausted, her friend is down, and she just got hit by that heavy hit._ "Why are you smil-"

The entire night turns eerily silent as two un-cloaked figures walk from the forest, making no noise at all, a third held in front of one, unconscious and with a blade to her neck.

"Sanae." I say, but no sound comes out. I fall down onto my knees, all life seemingly drained from my eyes. Silently, the figure I once was stepping on gets up, and brushes dirt off from her clothes. The figure with a katana raises her katana closer to her head, and I bow my head down in defeat, no need for words. The figure behind me knocks my hat off, ties a bag over my head, and knocks me out with a fist to the back of the head. The figure in front of me just stood there, still smiling to the end.

* * *

"Get up." Someone says as she rips the bag from my head. Dim light floods my vision, not that bright, but light nevertheless. The voice matches the one that knocked me out in the first place. I turn to see her, now completely visible, her teal hair and scowl on her face apparent, most of the light in the room emanating from her antennae. She walks over to one end of the room, at one side of a door. Standing on the other side of the door is a blonde girl, who's wide smile tells me the she fought me more than the stolen tengu's sword. Worst of all, she's wearing my hat. The room is an earthy one, either a cave or underground. _A rookie mist-_

"Well, well, well." A cold voice calls out from the other side of the room, and I spin around to look. In front of me is a large throne of ice, and atop it sits a young girl, whose six icicle wings were held inside the throne like gemstones. The ice from the throne runs across the ground like frost, the frost covering half the room. At her left there is a bird with a katana, who shivers but remains silent. Three fairies float behind her throne as she pets a frozen cat slowly. "Well, look who's finally awake."

"Cirno..." I say, getting up, "Nice place you got here."

"Thank you. Now tell me Kero-chan."

"Suwako."

"Kero-chan, why do you think I brought you here?" I sigh.

"I don't know Cirno, I cannot hope to cope with your vast intelligence." That elicits a chuckle from the bug at the door, thankfully Cirno does not catch it and continues on.

"No, you can't. This is why you're going to stand there, and be told by the smartest."

"Of course Cirno. So, where is Daiyousei?" One of the actual smartest of the bunch, Daiyousei, was missing from this common group, and when even the fairies of the moon, sun, and stars are seen, then she should be as well.

"She's not here." My comment passes right over her head and ego. "She was too worried about the... consequences."

"As would anyone."

"Of course, but my dear Kero-chan, what consequences would there be when I've won, and become the strongest?"

"I myself can think of many."

"Either way, Kero-chan, have you heard of a figure named Okuu?"

"Utsuho? You could say I've heard of her."

"Nice girl really." Cirno wafts her hand around, causing a couple glitters to spurn from thin air. "She was the strongest of the hell ravens, pet to the mind reader, and friend of the taxi service." The glitters freeze together and solidify, forming an ice dagger. "Then none of that changed. No real consequences, she still kept all the connections she had before, but there was something different, a glint in her eyes, an extra one at that to go with her third leg." Cirno holds the dagger with two fingers, pinching the dagger's blade. "And a lot more power." Cirno spins the dagger around and grips it's handle. She points the dagger at me from a distance. "You wouldn't know anything about that... would you?"

"I can't say I d-" Cirno throws the knife at me, cutting my face to the side of my eye. No blood was drawn, as the wound quickly froze over with frost.

"Liar." Cirno forms another dagger from thin air. "My sources tell me that you and the other goddess are responsible for that, is this true?"

"It was mostly Kanako's wor-" She throws the dagger, and it nicks me on my opposite side this time, in the leg.

"Answer the question Kero-chan."

"Yes, that was our work. Why are you showing a sudden interest?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Cirno laughs to herself; the blond figure behind me does as well, while the bird shivers, and the bug just sighs. "Sure, I am already the strongest, but if someone can become so powerful just by divine intervention then I should not allow that to be used against me." She extends her hand to me, "Rather, it should be used for me instead."

"This is why you brought me here?"

"Yes. So, Kero-chan, will you join me, or will you make this entire venture for naught?"

"You brought me here... to help you get stronger?"

"Of course, what other reason would there be?" I start walking over to Cirno and sigh.

"Fine then, I will teach you the ancient training method of the Moriya family." She chuckles.

"The ancient training method of the frogs, how trivial. No my dear Kero-chan, I'm talking about how Okuu became strong."

"But that was because sh-"

"Yes, yes; we are already familiar with the method, why do you think you are here Kero-chan?" A brief thought, barely a sentence long, causes me to turn silent for near a full minute. I back away from Cirno, descending the steps.

"You're a fool." She gets up and starts walking towards me.

"I'm a genius."

"Oh really? Would a genius try to hold me in my own domain?" I hop off the stairs, spinning backward, and quickly tunnel through the ceiling. However, a torrent of water knocks me into the ground, and water floods into the room before Cirno freezes the hole in the ceiling. She also uses the water to create a firm layer of ice over the floor.

"No. A genius would make you think you are in your own domain. Where did you think you were, honestly?" I get up, breaking from the frost on the ground. "Right now you are under the deepest part of Misty Lake. We are surrounded by water on most sides, save for the floor. And," she taps her foot on the ice twice. "I doubt you'll be able to dig through that." _She's dead set on this..._

"Oy, bug, you seem sensible," I turn around, looking at the teal haired girl, "why are you helping her with this anyway?" She just sighs.

"No matter how stupid she is, or her method of getting power, she is my friend." The bug just brings her fists in front of her face. "And that means I'll help her achieve her stupid goals."

"Just give in Kero-chan." Cirno says, forming a large blade out of ice, larger than her own body, and her wings break free from her throne, homing in on Cirno and quickly jumping to her back like a slingshot. Cirno grabs the sword with one hand, the bird at her side clenching hers tightly, while the girl wearing my hat over her eyes pulls out her stolen sword as well. The three mischievous fairies disappear, probably hiding behind the throne of ice, as the four others encircle me. "I will get that power."

The room remains near silent for a moment, but one small noise elicits an unstoppable grin. I gather a couple of rocks around my fist, and jump up, punching through the ceiling, causing dirt to fall down on the room.

"Kero-chan, have you lost your min-" Cirno stops when she realizes there is no water above the room anymore. Rather, there was no water directly above the room, the lake was still there, but an explosion cut a large circle into the lake, replacing it with pure air, the sky. Onbashira litter the air and have created stepping stones all around the lake.

"Took you long enough old hag." I say as I fly upwards to Kanako.

"You're still older than me; will you ever act your own age? I mean, here you are, playing with fairies, and leaving me to pick you up."

"I can hang out with whoever I want to! I'm plenty old enough to be out on my own!" I pout before looking at Kanako and smiling. Meanwhile, Cirno floats out of her chamber, a frown on her face, wiping dirt off her clothes as her three companions follow her. "So, Cirno, will you give up? You were horribly outclassed at the start, and now you don't stand a chance."

"I'm Cirno! Even the gods will bow before me! Rumia, with me, Wriggle, Mystia, take care of the hag!"

"Hag?" Kanako's face flashes red with anger as she throws an Onbashira at the two, and I toss several iron rings at my opponents. However, 'Wriggle and Mystia' as they were called, easily grazed the Onbashira, one at each side of the grand pillar, and the bug delivered a punch right at Kanako's mirror, cracking it as the bird flew right past her, turning around so they could attack from two fronts. Meanwhile, Cirno and who I could assume is Rumia don't bother dodging.

"Perfect Freeze!" They fly right at me as my rings freeze and shatter in an instant, slashing at me with grand swords. I dodge with a back flip and land on one of Kanako's Onbashira. Cirno lands on the surface of the water and freezes it, creating a battlefield with an icy low ground, and many pillars forming the high ground. Rumia follows after, jumping onto a pillar near mine and slashing at me.

Meanwhile, Kanako has her circular shimenawa spinning around her like a hula hoop in mid air, her four 'favorite' Onbashira attached and spinning with it. Her two combatants keep their distance, unable to strike her like this. Kanako goes on the offensive, hurling one at each quickly and without warning. The two have no time to dodge, and they both block the attack, the bug with her arms crossed, the bird with her katana. They block well and effectively, but then a second Onbashira rams into the back of the first for both of them, knocking them back in opposite directions.

"Wriggle... carapace..." The bug says as the Onbashira return to the shimenawa, her arms smoking from the friction. The bird, Mystia I can now guess effectively, is not nearly as lucky, her katana cracked. She sighs, and throws the sword back, pulling her hands out in front of her face, the nails as sharp as blades. They charge at Kanako before she can use her Onbashira to keep them at bay, and engage her in hand to fist to claw combat.

Back on my side of things, Rumia had enveloped herself in darkness, causing me to have to fight a blob of darkness whose slashes came from the shadows without warning. I dodge a slash from Rumia by jumping off a pillar, and quickly rebounding off a spike of ice made to catch me. Cirno slashes the spike in two right as I jump off it, barely missing me. Rumia jumps down behind me, sword aimed straight down, and I jump forward, kicking Cirno as Rumia has her sword lodged into the ground. They both quickly recover, and I throw iron rings at Rumia, dashing away from Cirno, using the pillars for cover. To my surprise, Rumia grabs one of the rings and hurls it like a discus, causing it to curve around a pillar and hit me in the face. In my surprise, I get knocked back, and Cirno pops me up in the air with an icy hammer.

And Kanako does not have it that much better. While a skilled fighter, she does lack in several departments, such as hand to hand combat. The large shimenawa and Onbashira don't help that much either. A punch to the face, a scratch at the hamstring, an axe kick to the left arm, a claw to the right. Kanako herself normally wouldn't get knocked around this badly, but she can't even hear herself think with the bird singing and the flashing lights the bug gives off in her face. Mystia puts two large cuts in her back while she is focused with Wriggle, who then punches her right in the gut.

"Now!/Chance!" The two say together. **_"Combination Sign~Music of the Night!" _**Mystia opens her mouth and screeches into Kanako's ears, a sound wave rippling the air around it harshly. Wriggle's wings hum as well, leading a chorus of bugs from the trees around the lake. Kanako clutches her ears in pain, and the two jump back. **_"Predator X Prey~Circle of Life!" _**The two charge back in, and Wriggle kicks her with a rotating kick, causing Kanako to spin clockwise. As Kanako faces Mystia, she gets slashed sideways, causing her to spin even faster. The cycle continues, seemingly endless.

**"Mishaguji!" **I call out, and a large curse god comes up out of the lake. Wriggle and Mystia jump back away from Kanako, who shakes her head, trying to recover. Wriggle, keeping her distance from the god, and shouts out loud, causing everyone to go silence a second time. The silence is then broken as countless bugs start charging in at the curse god en masse. Mishaguji lashes out at each of them, taking out many, and the bugs start to retreat. Wriggle, now crying, looks down... before turning back to the curse god with a smirk. Several small purple spots appear on the curse god's body, and the color spread throughout the curse god, turning it a deep purple. He falls to the ground, moaning in pain before disappearing. "I-Impossible."

"You should really be worrying about yourself Kero-chan." Cirno whispers from behind me, hitting me with a hammer and knocking me downwards, shattering the ice floor as I fall into the frigid water. I hop out of the water and am looking up at the fairy when Rumia grabs me by the back of my collar and throws me up into the air at Cirno, Cirno herself spinning with her hammer, which knocks me away from her. "Ready Rumia?" The blond haired girl just smiles.

**_"Combination Sign~Shadowfrost!" _**The two overlap their hands as they point their palms at me, and a cone of ice and darkness blasts right at me, the shadows burning my skin as the ice frosts me over. I end up in pain, yet unable to move, as the two close in with their long swords, Cirno having thrown away her icicle hammer. **_"Dual Arts~All Encompassing Slash X2!"_** The two slash at me hard and rapidly before each jumping up and slashing downwards, carrying me straight into an Onbashira.

"You think that's enough?" I say, getting up from the attack as they jump back. **_"Party Start~Two Bows, Two Claps and One Bow." _**The 'claps' reach out at the two, two red 'lasers' then one red, one blue; the pattern continues on with a large clump of danmaku straight down the middle. _Yet how do they keep dodging them all!?_

"Blue!" The two dive under the odd 'laser' out and redirect the large clump of danmaku, leaving a wide open space to dodge it. "Blue!" The pattern repeats again, "Blue!" Until the spell card times out.

"How did yo-"

"Kero-chan, your spell cards may look intimidating, but they're more about knowing what to do rather than skill. And I've done my research." Cirno smiles. "Now give it up already!" She slashes downward with her large sword but I catch it between my two palms and snap it, throwing the top half of the sword back at her as she backs off. Cirno frowns and catches it, throwing it up into the air. It comes back down a full icicle sword, Cirno reforming the previous one as well. Dual wielding the large weapons, she charges at me, backing up when I pull out my second spell card.

**_"Native God~The Red Frog in the Fourth Year of the Houei Era."_**Two glowing red clones spurn from me, leaving behind a trail of explosive danmaku as they each hop towards one opponent.

"Rumia!"

"Nin-nin!" The figure calls out, motioning her hands in nonsensical gestures. "Darkness Clone Jutsu!" She becomes enshrouded in total darkness, and several more of her jump at out my two clones, completely enveloping them in a mass of bodies. But, whether my clones move or not, they still leave behind explosive danmaku.

**_Boom!_**

The two heaps explode, causing darkness to float around like smoke. However, there are still several clones of her left, and they charge at me, each drawing swords. I easily take them out with several iron rings, but they just explode into darkness, leaving me surrounded by the black mass. Which is just what she wants. She slashes at me from the shadows, and I struggle to counter. I jump out of the trap, but Cirno was waiting for me, and slashes at me with her two swords.

Kanako, while not having quite a spectacular fight, is having a lot more trouble with her opponents. They get in real close before going to tango with her, leaving her at a stellar disadvantage. As she trades blows with one, the other attacks her from behind. When she tries to throw and attack the other, the first just flies right by her, swapping positions, sometimes hitting her in the process.

I float back up from the lakes icy surface, brushing off my cut clothes.

"Is that really all Kero-chan?" Cirno smirks.

"No." I smile. "Of course not." I pull out another spell card. **_"Native God~Kero-chan Braves the Elements!" _**Cirno backs down to the ground and starts to dodge as a weaving spray of water falls down on her. She struggles to dodge, and places a wall of ice to block the attack, Rumia getting hit and pounded into the ground.

Meanwhile, Kanako is turning the tide on her opponents. Her shimenawa spins away into the sky and her Onbashira rockets upwards past the clouds as Kanako starts knocking her opponents back with empty palms. After some time passes with Kanako matching every fist and claw with her palms she knocks Mystia back and pulls out a spell card. **_"Heaven's Smite~Orbital Faith Cannon!"_**

Far above the clouds, Kanako's four favorite Onbashira open up, crackling with energy, which runs along the four rods as they emit a light hum. The air quickly silences for a moment, and then a grand laser fires straight down from each of the Onbashira.

Back down, closer to earth, Mystia is charging back at Kanako when suddenly a large laser blasts right through the clouds, completely enveloping the bird as she cries out in pain. Her body falls down slowly to the lake, her skin burnt and wings smoking.

"Misty!" Wriggle calls out, only to be cut off by another spell card from Kanako.

**_"God Sign~Omiwatari God Crosses."_** Wriggle brings her arms in front of her face as an Onbashira comes crashing down into her, flames spewing out the opposite end like a jet engine. She blocks, and holds steadfast, the pillar much stronger than before, and the bug struggling to keep her carapace intact. The second one comes down, and Wriggle's 'armor' begins to crack. With the third one, Wriggle's carapace shatters, and the bug is knocked backwards. And lastly, the fourth one, sent her down into the icy water, the bug unable to guard against it. Kanako's shimenawa comes down last, and the goddess spins it around her finger before attaching it to her back again.

And back on Cirno's side of things, her ice shield is breaking. "Kero-chan braves the elements... the trick of this card is simple... there is no set trajectory, it's just a relentless torrent..." As the ice shield breaks, many danmaku send the fairy spiraling backwards into some ice.

"It's over Cirno, that's it, your companions have fallen, and you're in no shape to continue on!" She growls at this comment as she floats up, and sees Mystia and Wriggle pull themselves up, shaking and barely conscious. Cirno sighs and turns to Rumia.

"Rumia, take Mystia and Wriggle to the back up fort!" The blonde girl nods, and floats away with the two others in tow.

"Glad to see you've come to your sens-"

"T-That's not it. I don't n-need them to defeat you!" She says between tears. She shakes them off, "And I will defeat you!" Cirno charges at me again, and we fight long into the night, Cirno limited only by her seemingly endless motivation.

* * *

Much later, the sun is rising, and as Wriggle and Mystia walk out of their cave they see Cirno and sigh.

"It's just not fair!" She pouts, pounding on the ice. "Why won't you let me have that power the hell raven has!" Kanako and I float above the lake, looking down upon Cirno.

"Explain to me how giving you a god's power would benefit me in the slightest." Kanako says, eyes narrowed at the small fairy.

"Not to mention it would probably cost me as well... you know, just a little?" I sigh, looking at Cirno, her clothes torn and tattered, her wounds sparkling as they regenerate.

"I'm the strongest, I deserve such items!"

"You don't deserve anyt- items?" I stutter for a moment, and blink, looking at Cirno.

"Yes, items!" Cirno shouts, her head down into the ice. "I wanted a glowey necklace and an arm cannon that goes 'woosh woosh woosh' as well!" She sniffles. "Maybe even a shiny cape..." I, having lost all sense of Cirno's logic long ago, do the one thing I can do.

"Bug," I nudge to Wriggle as she stands out the edge of a cave, "what's she babbling about this time?"

"She wanted magical, or... what was it... 'technological' items. Why do you think she had us bring you to the cave?" The bug calls from the entrance of a cave at the edge of the lake.

"She thought she would get stronger... just from a couple trinkets?"

"Well, most magical items around here do give the user some sort of power boost, which is why they are popular amongst humans."

"And that's why you were fighting?"

"Hey, I thought if we cornered you well enough, I could get a new cape as well." I clutch my gut and start laughing, spinning around in mid air.

"She thought, and you thought, and I thought, and, ahahahahahaha!"

"Suwako, honestly, what are you laughing about?"

"It's not funny!" Cirno sniffles. "I'm the strongest..."

"Of course you are Cirno. Hehe... You're already strong enough, such items would only slow you down." I laugh, floating down to her and patting her on the back. "But I guess I can spare _one_ item for you... if you stop killing frogs by freezing them."

"Really!" She looks up at me, eyes watering, but happy, changing immediately. "Can it b-"

"No arm cannons."

"Aww..."

"Hehe... I'll be off then. Come on Kanako, I'm sure Sanae's worried and causing a fit. Or a storm. Or both." The two of us float off towards Youkai Mountian, and Kanako floats over to me.

"Suwako, why were you going easy on her?"

"Tsk tsk Kanako, tsk tsk. While when gods fight it is perfectly acceptable to show your power to show just how formidable you are, that's foolish when fighting a fairy. Cirno wouldn't give up, limited only by sheer motivation, if I just blasted her outright. In fact, if I did that, I would wear myself out, boosting Cirno's confidence."

"Where if you would start out weaker it would show that Cirno's attacks aren't going to stop you."

"Exactly, quickly shattering her resolve and causing her to waver and give up."

"Quickly? You fought through the night!"

"Yeah, she seemed pretty determined. All the more reason to just give her an item anyway."

"Wh- you're actually going to give her a magical item!?"

"Yeah. Do you still have any of those spiritual vine things? I'm sure we have more than enough lying about."

"You're really going to give a child a magical item after she just attacked you out of the blue?"

"She may look like a child, but I find she did very well with the ambush, actually caving in and accepting help, and actually though things through... hans a tad of false information, but that's not her fault. I'd say she deserves it."

"I don't think that a person who fights for power could be anything but childish. But then I remember, she's also an idiot."

"So stupid minds think alike, eh Kanako?"

"What are you get-"

"Great Suwa War."

"That was for faith! When are you going to stop bringing that up!"

"Same difference," I smile. "Kanako, always a greedy hag to the end~!"

"Ugh, just shut up. I've heard it all before." She sighs and looks downward, whereas I keep my head pointed upward as I ponder something.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm forgetting something..."

* * *

**_Meanwhile, back on Youkai Mountain..._**

"Oh Suwako-sama, please grant us with fertile soil for this next harvest!" A large group of tengu had arrived at the Moriya shrine, clamoring around the blond haired girl with the trademarked hat. There had been a lot of chaos going on, and they were doing what everyone does when they need help. Instead of trying to solve it themselves, they were praying. This is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of human nature... applied to tengu, no matter the abilities of the person in question, they will first ask for help.

"Nin-nin!" The figure claps twice and bows.

"Oh Suwako-sama, let our village prosper in this time of chaos!"

"Nin-nin!" The figure repeats her actions again.

"Suwako-sama, as an gesture of good faith, we have provided you with the fattest of our cows as offering."

"Nin-n-" She sniffs the air and starts to drool. "Zat so~?"

"Hey..." One tengu starts, keeping his voice down. "Don't you think she's acting a bit strange?"

"Nonsens-" Another tengu starts, but is interrupted by the sight of the offering being tackled by a god. "Well, she is Suwako. She's always been a tad-" He is then interrupted again, this time by a metal ring to the back of the head.

"Watch what you say about a god!" The real Suwako walks forward, as a slightly confused Sanae helps a heavily dazed Kanako back to the shrine, her skin turning slightly purple. "And you!" Suwako points towards the imposter. "Give me back my hat!"

"Nin-Nin!" In an instant, and a puff of smoke, the imposter and corpse disappeared into a puff of smoke.

"Come back here!" Suwako flies off into the distance, and many tengu scratch their heads, Sanae trying to figure everything out herself. However, Sanae had long since given up logic for power, so the best she could come up with was this:

_'Reimu must have finally gone off the deep end from lack of donations so she decided to send a ninja to poison the Moriya gods and replace them with an imposter to garner faith for her own shrine. That must be it, it's a Hakurei shrine conspiracy!'_

* * *

**_And so, my dear friends, what started as a secret mission to infiltrate Youkai Mountain had ended up as a theory of a Hakurei conspiracy._**

**_Le Fin._**

**_..._**

**_Alright, shameless plug/disclaimer time! (You can just leave if you want.)_**

**_Again, sorry if I disappoint, and sorry if I apologize too much. Touhou belongs to ZUN, and I hope it stays that way. Why? Because if I owned it, there would be much sadness! The only thing I own are my ideas, and even some of those may be impure! Rumia taking Suwako's hat was 100% my own idea. The stinger where she steals her place for offerings was 'inspired' (read: stolen) from nekokuro13. He, err, she, err, that cool cat has some nice works, check them out and review em, he/she/it loves them!_**

**_Wait. Was that a not shameless plug? No, that was me justifying my actions and leading up to my shameless plug! I have some subpar works myself! You should check them out and review em!_**

**_As for closing words, I'd like to thank you for reading this. And ZUN himself if he reads this. Shine on you crazy Touhou fans! And you strange people who aren't fans but read the fanfiction anyway!_**

**_-A Successful Businessman._**

**_9/9/12._**

**_Happy Cirno Day All._**


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